Universal Binary

Game Media

By Brad Cook

Traditional Florinese scholars would be aghast at the notion of a videogame chronicling the exploits of their most famous export (aside from Cadminium, which just sits there). “It’s bad enough,” they would wail in the pages of their under-read scholarly journals, “that Goldman butchered 70 percent of Morgenstern’s most famous work. But now we must endure the indignities of a child’s plaything?”

Man and woman together.

And yet The Princess Bride Game may be enjoyed by young and old, Florinese and non-Florinese alike. Based on William Goldman’s best-selling abridgement of Morgenstern’s novel — and featuring the voice work of Wallace Shawn (Vizzini), Robin Wright Penn (Buttercup), and Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya) from the movie adaptation — the game features five play areas and dozens of increasingly difficult levels.

Don’t Fall Victim to One of the Classic Blunders

Begin this tale of true love and high adventure on the farm where Buttercup lives and Westley works. Help Westley juggle his chores with Buttercup’s requests, such as feeding chickens while gathering enough of their eggs so that the stockpile remains full and he can still give her two of them. Westley must complete all of his goals by the end of the day, but you can keep him working if you finish early, so you can accumulate more points.

Next, you’ll engage in a battle of the wits with that crafty Sicilian, Vizzini. His questions mix Princess Bride trivia with general puzzles, such as unraveling a word into its proper anagram before the timer runs out. After Vizzini loses his prize, Buttercup, to the man in black, who is really Westley in disguise, the intrepid couple must work as a team to cross the deadly Fire Swamp. Use Westley’s sword to defeat the Rodents of Unusual Size while taking advantage of Buttercup’s leaping ability. Don’t forget to collect gems along the way.

After Prince Humperdinck has captured Westley and tortured him to the point of being “mostly dead,” you’ll need to visit Miracle Max and get the potion that will revive him. First, find the necessary objects hidden in Max’s shop. Then use those ingredients to mix a potion of the right color. A reference book helps you figure out how the final result should look.

Not Nervous; Just a Little Bit Concerned

Scattered throughout those four play areas’ multiple levels are pieces of the siege engine, which you’ll need to attack Humperdinck’s castle and save Buttercup. Assemble the pieces in the right order and proceed to the end-game.

But will Westley and Buttercup escape from Humperdinck’s soldiers and live happily after ever? The movie is unequivocal on that point, although Goldman notes in his abridgement of Morgenstern’s novel that the original ending was of a ”lady or tiger” nature. Play to the end to discover what conclusion the developers chose. And don’t forget to never get involved in a land war in Asia.

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Man jumping down.

Beware the ROUS’s. Still don’t think they exist, Westley?

Man jumping down.

Oh, Farm Boy! Westley must keep the stockpile full and complete Buttercup’s tasks if he wants to win her heart.

Man jumping down.

How About a Nice MLT? Search Miracle Max’s shop for the items you’ll need to make a potion that will revive Westley.

System Requirements:

 

Which Story Did He Tell?

The Princess Bride Game

The movie on which the game was based was adapted from the 1973 novel by William Goldman, who’s also best known as writer of many classic movies, including “All the President’s Men” and “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” for which he won an Academy Award. Goldman, in turn, had merely abridged the original story by Simon Morgenstern, a Florinese author who had set out over a century ago to satirize the excess of European royalty.

Goldman was introduced to Morgenstern’s classic tale of true love and high adventure at the age of 10, when his father read it to him while he recovered from a serious bout of pneumonia. Later in life, he realized that his father had skipped over much of the book’s historical exposition while reading it to him, preferring to focus on the conflict and romance between the main characters. Goldman decided his edition would be the “good parts version,” complete with annotations scattered throughout, such as this one at the start of chapter two: “This is my first major excision … For what Morgenstern has done is open this chapter with sixty-six pages of Florinese history … Dreary? Not to be believed.”

After several false starts, the movie was made and released in 1987. In his introduction to the 30th anniversary edition of the novel, Goldman reveals that during filming, Andre the Giant told him about the Morgenstern Museum in Florin. Armed with a referral from fellow Florinese descendant Stephen King, Goldman was able to access the museum’s scholars-only Sanctuary and peruse Morgenstern’s notebooks, diaries, and other materials. There, he made a breakthrough in his quest to bring the author’s fabled sequel, “Buttercup’s Baby,” into existence: the opportunity to read Morgenstern’s journal about the writing of the book.

The Story Continues

Unfortunately, his desire to abridge “Buttercup’s Baby: S. Morgenstern’s Glorious Examination of Courage Matched Against the Death of the Heart” had hit a speed bump soon after publication of “The Princess Bride.” Thirteen speed bumps, to be exact, in the form of lawsuits filed by the Morgenstern estate against Goldman and his publisher. Those legal matters also tied up distribution of the reunion scene between Westley and Buttercup that Morgenstern never wrote but which Goldman felt should be in “The Princess Bride.”

To this day, no one has received Goldman’s reunion scene, but you can request a copy in the hope that it will eventually be sent out. In the meantime, the Morgenstern estate made overtures toward ending its legal action, only to reveal that it wanted Stephen King to abridge “Buttercup’s Baby.” While King felt that he could do a better job with the sequel than Goldman had done with the original, he relented and allowed his friend to adapt the first chapter, titled “Fezzik Dies.” You can find it in the 25th and 30th Anniversary editions of “The Princess Bride.”

An interview with William Goldman sheds some light on his progress with the abridgement of “Buttercup’s Baby” since then.

 
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